Can extract sunshine from a cloudy day!

Join the great company of those who make the barren places of life fruitful with kindness. Carry a vision of heaven in your hearts, and you shall make your name,your college, the world, correspond to that vision. Your success and happiness lie within you. External conditions are the accidents of life, its outer wrappings. The great, enduring realities are love and service. Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulty. ~ Helen Keller
L❀VE ♥´¯`•.¸¸.• ♥ •´¯`•.¸¸.♥Fiat Lux ♥´¯`•.¸¸.• ♥L❀VE ♥´¯`•.¸¸.• ♥ •´¯`•.¸¸.♥Fiat Lux ♥´¯`•.¸¸.• ♥

Saturday, July 28, 2012

STRESS and Finding Grace in Whatsoever Things

My artworkie! :D
is the feeling of being a confused hungry locked guinea pig in a sopping wet cage with no free range time ever! If I could just... juST...JUST literally crumple, rip, and stomp the word itself with as much belching oooomph' of a blow, fug it out to oblivion, oh man, my friend, would I! 

To think that I've been wifey' for 23 years and a mom for 22, wow! Shouldn't I have it all together by now? Calm, collected, wise, comforting, a pole of strength, a river of rushing wisdom, feminine sage, the LIGHT??

Can I please be ALL that, NOW, the purrfect me in my mind? Seriously, I am an overgrown human hissing cat! Right now there is nothing at all remotely "enchanted" about moi' hahaha! Forgive me, but I am and most likely will ALWAYS be a colossal mass of inner hysteria when any one of my boys ( my hubby included :) is sick.

So it is, shucks, whether your child is 1 or 21 it's still the same gut wrenching wearing your heart-out-on your-sleeve ache! You bleeeeed without the ooze of red thick liquid. It is a trauma that leeches out of your every pore, your every follicle, a painful throb out of your every intake and exhale of breathe.You want to butt-head the ill feel, kiss that offending boo-boo away, hover, fuss, take the yolk of suffering unto yourself -- Oh ugh' I am dopey' simpering drama and can't help it. I'm a mommy and I WORRY (yes, even if he is 21 and not 1!).

Thank the gracious God, right now I think he (my son) is getting better; not as much coughing and no fever and he smiled - i know a smile like that. There is still the long tonight to observe -- and tomorrow I'd still insist he take another blood test. It's a bad bout of flu, BUT I want to make thoroughly clear my aching heart ( and head) sure it's a seasonal flu, period. Hah, and now it is my hubby sniffling and sneezing and all puffed watery eyed...and my eldest asked for a paracetamol...shazam!

So what does one do in a week of gut churning emotions? Clean - maddeningly! Chop down trees ( yes, I did -- they weren't really THAT big). Make a bonfire of the piles of leaves. Battle garden ants. Drink Coke lite ( instead of tea). Make art (somehow) then stop midway, walk here and there with a plastered smile showing spurious tenacity. Plus, do everything else in a half  dazed zombie semblance of one's self  while attending to patient.

I miss my BLISS! I miss smiling and combing my hair! I miss sanity! Thank goodness for fantastic photos like this one (below) I gleamed from Pinterest , It is just amazing! I adooore how colors and books and wine and odd dippity shapes blended together-- this is so my homey' style! The whole story can be found here:

 --> Natalie's Beach Girl Meets Book Nerd Nest

Of course, all sour days must pass ( a cycle of pain and birth it is)  and life is beautiful the way we make, stir or blend it. Let me meditate on an ancient wisdom I love..." whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." ~ Philippinas 4:8

So yes, I do. Grateful still that there is grace in every whatsoever little thing.

1 comment:

  1. I hope the flu period is over now
    Your art makes me happy



The language of friendship is not words but meanings. ~Henry David Thoreau ´¯`•.¸¸.♥Fiat Lux ♥´¯`•.¸¸.• ♥•.

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